This is an ongoing series of therapeutic photography that explores my experience with chronic illness. I have photographed mundane things significant to me because of this experience that others may not notice. It is a therapeutic process in that I am sharing a part of myself that many people do not understand. Additionally, writing about the photos and how each thing affects me releases the tension I feel around them. I have partnered the photos with my handwritten testimonials to make them more personal.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf6.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/af77adb2-322a-4ea7-a7b0-e2e1082ed268_rw_1920.jpg?h=d83c4121581910e0e27fd576bc0a90d5)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf5.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/6f98fb45-a5bb-43e6-bdfb-554e46c84029_rw_1920.jpg?h=7fc75516616fca747d7306c29c78690d)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/125ae03c-f621-44e7-a575-b2954425107b_rw_1920.jpg?h=06c81bb8618498879a8133856860eb29)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf6.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/ac4ccff8-d90c-462a-83b5-3117f0ad58c5_rw_1920.jpg?h=9f631facc3766590c518c556839dc7f4)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/1fc8b4ce-ac15-435a-be08-898bce93b900_rw_1920.jpg?h=a88a0ce4c37412fe2e5124c38c32ccd5)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/be715452-7e84-4cb7-8782-de17b25186f7_rw_1920.jpg?h=e6c4493d98e43825e2c5a666d1f6a520)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf3.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/e742ccb5-446a-43a0-8284-890daba130b0_rw_1920.jpg?h=496eac8a5accb6a4748251af560f1527)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf6.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/a79cbff4-6608-4667-8ee5-fd293bf5e1e3_rw_1920.jpg?h=bc7e5990f49dac0e88f072d7621cc818)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
![Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.](https://pro2-bar-s3-cdn-cf2.myportfolio.com/7d4fdb108a31b2eba8b6a67f10c0b05b/d6fb729a-27a6-44fb-b1ab-f1d642662462_rw_1920.jpg?h=7eb9f767507658753a347c6e296b390a)
Taken in St Ives, Cornwall, UK, 11.03.20.
Some people handle my chronic illness better than others, but they often don’t accept that things could be this bad. They believe I should exercise more or do yoga and that would solve my problems. They don’t accept that everything in my life is a challenge, and if I focus on too much I will crash and burn. If I am working or studying, most of my spare time is for recovery. Even daily tasks like brushing my hair and making a meal hurt me, so when they have all added up I am left exhausted. I could focus all my time on getting fit but then how would I support myself? And anyway, I can get as fit and healthy as I like and it won’t change the fact that I have faulty connective tissue. All I can do is live my life at a slower pace than others, exercising when I can and trying to eat healthily. I rely on a support system that makes me feel like a fraud because my disabilities are invisible. I feel pressure to be what others expect me to be rather than accepted for my differences.
I walk around in fear of encountering the things in my photos and much more. I feel constant anxiety while I’m out and about, where is the next challenge? How will I deal with it? Who will be there? How will they deal with it? When can I go home and rest my body and mind? And the worst part is how all of it is trapped inside me. I cannot share it, I am the only one in this battle. I feel lonely.
Yet I have people in my life that love and support me. I have friends living with similar battles who understand. I have to remind myself of the positives every day so that I don’t drown in the pain. And I need people to accept that life is hard for me so that I don’t feel so alone.